


Rex

by LittleSweetCheeks



Category: Madam Secretary
Genre: Comfort, Domestic Violence, Other, Past Abuse, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:26:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27620656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSweetCheeks/pseuds/LittleSweetCheeks
Summary: He got her past, she'd be damned if he got her present and future too.
Comments: 39
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

_“I own you, you little bitch! Don’t think you can run away from me!”_

Nadine jolted awake, the start of a cry of fear and pain lodged in her throat. She breathed hard, willing her heartrate to return to normal as she pushed upright in her seat and ran a shaking hand through her hair. Looking around the plane’s cabin, she checked to be sure everyone else was still asleep, undisturbed by her nightmare, before carefully standing and finding her way to the lavatory.

Staring in the mirror, Nadine pressed her lips together to keep all the emotions shoved down deep. It’d been decades since she’d seen or heard from Rex, but the nightmares weren’t anything new. They’d plagued her for a decade after the divorce before fading to only on occasion before dropping off to almost nothing. She watched her whole body shake from the sudden fight-or-flight surge of adrenaline that had nowhere to go. In her twenties, the surge had been so overwhelming that she’d never been able to do more than cower, rooted in place as she privately prayed today wouldn’t be the day Rex decided to turn on Roman.

Rex’s disdain for her son, born less than a year before they’d even met, had always been open and obvious. He’d demanded multiple times she simply surrender the baby to the authorities, going so far as to drive them to a hospital more than once and pushing her out of the car, Roman in her arms. Those were the days she’d wished she’d stayed in Europe, stayed and given the traveling life a chance. At least on the road she knew what abuse to expect, what violations were normal.

Rex had been convenient. He’d had an apartment and she’d had limited job prospects, an unfinished education, and a new baby. She and Roman had lived with him a month before Rex had demanded they get married.

She’d tried to fake happiness. She called up old friends and spun a tale of a whirlwind romance and love at first sight and must have sold it convincingly because they all rushed to help her celebrate. Six weeks to plan and execute and then just as swiftly, Rex cut her off from everyone she’d known.

Drawing another breath, Nadine gave her reflection another once over before stepping back into the dark cabin. The silence felt less oppressive this time, the space a tad less lonely despite all other occupants being as asleep as she’d been.

Halfway back into her chair, she paused and then looked around again. A fresh, cold bottle of water was on the table at her seat. Someone else was awake. Or, had been.

Twisting the lid off, she began to sip the cool liquid, thankful for whoever had placed it there. As she drank, she let her mind wander, it was no surprise, really, that nightmares surfaced now. She’d managed to go over two decades without running into her ex-husband, but her luck had ended only the evening before the trip when she bumped into him as she’d been leaving a restaurant. The years had changed her, she was no longer the shrinking, terrified girl she’d been back then, but they hadn’t changed Rex.

=MS=

_“Look who we have here!”_

_The deep sneer made Nadine’s stride stutter and her heart jump into her throat. It was the voice of her nightmares, quite literally. She stopped on her path along the sidewalk back to her car and stared at the pavement a moment, gathering herself. They were in public and, at least in the past, Rex maintained a small level of self-control in public. Drawing a breath and raising her chin, she turned to face him. “Rex. What are you doing in the city?”_

_He closed the distance in three long strides, using the foot of height difference to tower over her. At twenty-one, it had made her recoil in fear…but not now. Now she was used to being the one controlling the room, controlling the narrative, even in the face of men who judged her as less because of her size or gender. She was used to being surrounded now by men Rex’s size, good men who were never a threat. “I can go wherever I want, bitch.” Two decades and she could still hear the seething anger just simmering under the surface. “That little restraining order wasn’t going to last forever and you’re still mine.”_

_“We got a divorce, Rex.”_

_“You think I care about that? Our marriage was before God! It’s forever!”_

_“Our marriage was a farce.” She kept her spine straight. He’d insisted on a Christian wedding, something that she hadn’t been old enough then to know to be bothered by. “And I’m not a twenty-year-old girl you can beat into compliance anymore.” She took one step toward him, a tiny amount of pleasure forming in the way his eyes widened ever so slightly at the move. “I’m sure it would be a pleasure to catch up, but I have things to do.” She turned her back to him and resumed her walk to the car._

_A small part of her wasn’t surprised when his hand grabbed her arm and yanked her back around. “I’m not done with you yet.”_

_“I assure you, Rex, you are.” She settled the glare perfected by years of government work on her face and pinned him back with it, pleased to see it seemed to startle him for a moment. “I advise you not go out of your way to try and contact me any further.” She gave him a threatening smile. “Next time, you may not be so lucky.”_

_“Lucky? Lucky for what? There’s nothing you can do to me that I can’t come with back a hundred times harder. You best remember that. Remember what I’m capable of.” His sneer had returned, and she met it with one of her own._

_“You better stay away, Rex, or you’ll learn what I’m capable of.”_

=MS=

It’d been an empty threat, really, she still had nothing on him, no way to overpower him should he resume his old habits. Her only advantage now was living in a secured building and working in the Truman, on the floor that required additional pass access. She was well aware, though, of how determined Rex could be. If he’d set his mind on coming after her again, a secured building or two weren’t going to stop him from his end goal.


	2. Chapter 2

A hand landed on her shoulder, startling her out of her daydream with a jolt and a gasp.

“Everything okay?” Elizabeth’s voice was soft, keeping the question private despite the crowded space.

Swallowing, Nadine looked up at her. She’d been struggling to keep her mind on task since they’d landed, a condition that their jobs had no time for, and she knew it. “Fine, Ma’am. A bit jetlagged perhaps.” It was a bald-faced lie and she knew they both knew it. Somehow, among the six of them, it had become a bit of a code for there being a problem but not wanting to talk about it. Thankfully, they all understood to back off.

“Well, get some rest then.” The answer made Nadine give a perfunctory smile of thanks, even as she was aware it was another part of the lie. It was less, these days, about rest and more about taking a moment to gather oneself.

“I think I may take a moment. If there’s nothing right now, of course?” There was, but it hardly mattered. One missed meeting wasn’t as end-of-the-world as they all liked to believe.

“No, no. Go ahead.”

The whole exchange, Nadine mused as she made her way back to the safety of her room, was a show. A performance they all did to save face. Somehow it worked, for them at least. They worked long hours, made longer by a job that ran twenty-four hours a day, and handled highly stressful situations. Frustrated snipping and outright anger were things they were all guilty of and accustomed to, but the small breaks afforded by such a mundane lie… they helped a great deal.

Safely behind a locked door, she allowed herself to let go of the breath she’d been holding. It had been years since Rex had upset her this much and that bothered her almost as much as being upset itself. She hated that he still could have that much power over her.

Kicking off her shoes, she settled on the bed with a huff. She was missing a staff meeting now, she knew none of them would mind. Elizabeth would excuse it away that she was resting because of that ‘jetlag’ excuse again and the others would nod and move on. Accepting the lie without question in order to preserve its integrity. Tomorrow it could be one of them needing it and they would want everyone else to leave it alone as well.

=MS=

_“You think I won’t just kill that little brat of yours?”_

_Nadine scrambled backward to avoid being kicked yet again. Terrified tears streamed down her face as she stared up from the floor, one arm out to try and shield herself while the other held her balance as she tried to move. She was the only thing stopping Rex from turning his rage on Roman and she’d take anything if it meant keeping her little boy safe._

_“I keep telling you to get rid of him!” She cried out when he grabbed her, one hand around her arm and the other in her hair, hauling her to her feet again. She already hurt everywhere, but the next blow to her chest made her gasp as air was cut off from the excruciating pain._

_“Stop!” She gasped it out, it came out weak, barely more than a squeak. She would wish for him to just kill her, but then it would leave Roman at his mercy and for that reason alone, she managed to stay on her feet. “Please!”_

_“I’ll finish when I’m ready.” She curled into herself, squeezing her eyes shut and gritting her teeth against what she knew was coming next._

=MS=

The sharp inhale was just as distressing as the lingering shout on the plane, but even in the privacy of her room, she didn’t allow herself to show any true emotion. She refused to allow him that power of a reaction from her.

She ended up with three fractured ribs from that particular afternoon in addition to assorted bruises from the toe of his boot. Where he’d grabbed her by her hair had left scabs on her scalp where flesh had torn away with ripped out hair that had itched as they’d healed and opened when she washed her hair. It’d hurt to breathe, to carry her toddler son, to walk even, but she’d lied in the ER. She’d had nowhere else to go and he’d find them anyway.

Curling to her side, Nadine shut her eyes and tried to think of anything else. All that came to her mind, though, were the nights rocking Roman in the dark, whispering to him to please be quiet and sleep because nothing angered Rex faster than Roman waking him up. She loved singing to her little boy, but her ribs had made it nearly impossible to sing for weeks and then, somewhere after that, it was like she forgot how.

Ghosts of injuries pained her body as she laid on the bed, pulsing into the memory of being in waves. The most painful memory, as far as she was concerned, wasn’t about the bruises or the broken bones, they were the ones from what it felt like the music had left.


	3. Chapter 3

Nadine reached for the file in Jay’s hand, but he pulled it back slightly. When she looked up to question him, his head was tipped to the side studying her. “Jay…” She sighed, aware of what was coming next.

His smile was gentle as he stepped closer. “If you need more time for your…jetlag…”

“I’m fine, Jay.” She took hold of the corner of the folder, but he still didn’t let it go.

“Hey.” He tugged the folder, and by extension her, closer. His eyes held hers as if he were reading her. “Something’s on your mind.” There had been a time in her life where even that simple motion, being pulled close to a man a good deal taller than herself, would’ve had her quaking.

She swallowed, pressing her lips together. “We have work to do.” She knew it wasn’t an answer and wasn’t surprised when he didn’t accept it as one.

“You can talk to me about anything, you know.” The sincerity was apparent in his voice. “You’re never…jetlagged…like this.”

Nadine shook her head. “I’m fine.”

He nodded. “We’ll talk later then.” He finally released the file. “Let me know, though, if you need me to take over.”

“I won’t need it.”

“Nadine…”

“Fine.” She drew a shaky breath. “I’ll let you know.”

He nodded, still studying her closely, his face so open and caring. She couldn’t help but allow the comparison between his hazel eyes and the eyes from her nightmares. She didn’t feel that overwhelming urge to withdraw from him, to pull away to protect herself. This was Jay, her friend who went through the world believing in goodness and thinking his little girl hung the moon.

=MS=

_She’d come to hate any time Rex looked at her because his attention meant fists and boots would follow. But today, this, she would have to tell him. There was a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, he’d take it well or at least… not kill her for it._

_“Rex?”_

_Those angry eyes swiveled to her. “What?” He snapped._

_She shrank back, hands already trembling. “I- I’m…” Her throat was already closing. They weren’t even to their first anniversary yet and she was certain that this, this one mistake, would end her for good. She’d never watch Roman grow up. “I’m pregnant.”_

_The roar of anger as he’d launched off the couch had her reflexively curling into a ball, shielding her body, her still-flat stomach, from what was coming._

_By the time Rex had worn himself out, she was already certain there was no longer a baby to worry about. She’d waited until dark, hours later, before dragging herself, Roman in tow, to the hospital just to be sure. The nurse had been kind, compassionate, but Nadine had refused to tell the truth. She still had Roman to raise._

_After that night, she swore to herself that she’d never be put in that position again, no matter what extremes she had to go to to ensure that._

=MS=

Her chair was along the wall in the row of aides and staffers sitting watch over the circular table of world leaders in negotiations. The resurfaced memory of what lengths she’d had to go through during that marriage to avoid a repeat of that night churned her stomach. Quietly, she slipped the file into Jay’s hands, praying he’d be understanding. “Excuse me.” She whispered to him.

Hazel eyes that weren’t angry looked her way. “Jetlag?”

She ducked her head, swallowing back the hint of bile in her throat, and nodded before slipping out of the room.

In the hall, she found a quiet spot and stood with her back against the wall, eyes closed and head back. She just needed a moment to breathe.


	4. Chapter 4

It took twenty minutes of Matt’s idle chatter before Nadine realized what he was even doing. She should’ve known, should’ve caught on faster. He perhaps had the biggest heart of the whole staff, but, at least with her, tended to approach things a bit sideways. He would be present and observant without actually asking a question directly. He would do exactly what he was doing now.

“Matt…” When his sentence trailed off, she smiled softly at him.

“I just- I just thought maybe you didn’t want to be alone with your thoughts right now… maybe.”

Despite how he frequently came across, Nadine knew he could be quite sweet when he tried. “Thank you.”

“Do you- Do you want me to go?” His casual confidence vanished, allowing his nerves show.

“No, you’re fine.” She patted his arm. They were back in the suite now, seated off to the side in a pair of matching chairs.

He didn’t resume what he’d been saying, though. “Something’s been bothering you.”

“I was reminded before we came of something from my past. It’s been… hard to shake the memories.” She didn’t want to give him more, but the dark shadow that seemed to cross his eyes made her think that maybe he could guess what she wasn’t saying.

“I’m sorry.” His reply was soft. “Is there anything I can do?”

She watched him as he waited for her answer, the kindness in his dark eyes, the way even relaxed he seemed to wear a small smile, the easy way he sat in the chair. There was nothing to fear from him, never had been. When he’d first started under Marsh, he’d been the tallest on the seventh floor at the time and she’d been nervous when he was around. It hadn’t taken long though for her to realize he carried an air of calm. She wasn’t sure what she would’ve done if he’d been more the Russell Jackson type, full of bully and bluster.

She blinked, remembering he’d asked a question. “Keep talking.”

=MS=

_When the music had gone, it seemed like her voice had as well. Slowly, Nadine was aware she was withdrawing further and further into herself. She barely spoke to Roman, did her best to never speak to or around Rex._

_She became a ghost drifting through her own life, her sole purpose reduced to protecting Roman and avoiding Rex’s fists. She reached a point somewhere along the way where she’d accepted this was what her life would be forever and it felt like it was, for several years._

_When the nightmare reached its critical moment, the moment when she should’ve woken up, she’d discovered that it wasn’t a nightmare at all. There was no magical moment when it would all be just a fleeting memory. It would be endless cycles of pain and fear until she found her voice again._

=MS=

She touched Matt’s arm, silencing him. She didn’t pull away and neither said a word. They simply sat there together, listening.


	5. Chapter 5

They were already back on the plane home. As far as she was concerned, her attendance had been a waste. She’d been too distracted to be of much good, though none of the others made her feel as though she’d been shirking her duties.

She was thankful for that.

They were almost at final decent when Daisy suggested going out for a drink, insisting Elizabeth come along and when everyone else readily agreed, Nadine forced herself to agree as well. She didn’t really want to go, to be social, but these were her friends and she didn’t have many of those, if she were honest with herself.

She was startled again when Daisy suggested a bar that was closest to her condo, in her comfort zone. Looking around as they all agreed, she realized they were all willing to make the trip for her.

=MS=

_She hated alcohol. Rex stumbled in half the nights a week drunk and looking for a fight he knew he could win. Nadine faked sleeping as she listened to him stumble through the apartment, drunk and slurring sloppily as he looked for her. It always ended the same, it had ended the same half the nights for the past few years. It always ended with her huddled in the bathroom, checking that the bruises looked normal and not worrisome, that the split skin was clean so it wouldn’t get infected._

_At first, the isolation had been Rex’s doing but over time, over bruises, she’d grown reclusive so no one would know her secret._

=MS=

“To getting the job done.” Daisy had her glass held high, breaking Nadine back into the present. “And making it look painless.” The others cheered, laughing amongst themselves.

Nadine rose once they’d all finished their glasses. “I’ll get the next round.” The bar was only marginally crowded. Not a ghost town, but not overwhelming either. At the bar, she put in the order and waited, leaning against the bar, and raised up on her toes to be seen through the line of bodies seated either side of her.

A hand gripped her arm hard as that voice spoke in her ear. “I told you you can’t run from me and lookie here.”

“Turn lose, Rex.”

He didn’t, instead his grip tightened even further, making her grind her teeth as he pressed her into the bar, the dark wood creating a line of pain across her chest. “Never. I own you. My pretty little girl.”

The nickname made bile rise in her throat. “Leave me alone, Rex.”

“You can’t make me.” His other hand gripped her other arm, preventing her from being able to fight. “You belong to me, to death do us part, remember? Or are you a liar as well?” He leaned over, staring down over her shoulder and she wanted to shrink away, the position was too threatening even now. “I own you and there’s nothing you can do to make me leave.” He teeth grazed her ear and she shuddered, waiting for what he would say or do next.

Nadine registered a voice in the background noise of the bar ordering Rex to turn loose at almost the same moment she was hauled backward, stumbling, and falling against Rex as he refused to let go. A scuffle ensued that she couldn’t see and then she was tumbling, falling to the ground between legs and feet and to the dim bar floor, all she could think to do was protect herself from being kicked or stepped on as voices shouted overhead.

Unfamiliar strong arms lifted her almost off her feet and then began hauling her away, toward a side door of the bar and then into the street. Panting, she looked up to find Elizabeth’s lead DS agent, Matt, looking her over. “Thank you.” She forced it out.

“Are you okay, Ma’am?” He still had one hand on her arm, keeping her steady.

“I’ll be fine.” She brushed off, looking back through the glass window. At the main entrance, Rex was surrounded by the other DS agents as well as her male coworkers. A scan of the room found Daisy and Elizabeth walking toward the side door Matt had hauled her out of.

“The cops will be here shortly; we’ll all be giving statements.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“Ma’am.” He cut her off. “I’m sorry, it’s not negotiable.”

The door burst open and Nadine was met with both Daisy and Elizabeth trying to ask if she was okay.

“I’ll be fine. He hasn’t managed to kill me yet.” All she had in her now was flippant, but it made them all frown.

“You know him?” Daisy recovered first.

“His name is Rex Kelly.” She sighed. “I met him when I was twenty, not long after Roman was born. He’s… He’s my ex-husband.” She waited, unsure how they would react. “It seems neither time nor the restraining order ever changed his ways.”

“We need to get you checked out.” Elizabeth turned to Matt before Nadine could object, asking if it would be a problem to drive her in themselves.

“Ma’am. I’m okay, you really don’t need to go to all that trouble.”

“He had you tight, Nadine, and pulled you to the floor. I’d feel better if you were looked over, plus, you’re having a hard time breathing properly, you could have cracked a rib.”

“I haven’t cracked a rib, trust me, I’d know if I had.” She brushed that worry off. “I’m just a little winded is all.”

“Let’s get back inside, Ma’am.” Matt suddenly spoke up, this time addressing Elizabeth. “The police are just arriving now, and I’d prefer it if you weren’t out here on the street any more than necessary.” He began to shepherd them in.

Nadine watched through the windows to the others on the other side of the building. The other DS agents were talking to the officers while Jay, Matt, and Blake were standing across the sidewalk. She could only barely make out from the angle the set of their faces and the anger there.

“Ma’am, they’ll need your statement as well.” This time it was aimed at her. “They’re putting Mister Kelly into custody in a squad car and then we’ll go through.” His deep voice turned gentle. “Don’t worry though, there’s no way he’s getting a walk on this.”

“Of course.” She followed him through the now curious crowd and out the other door into the crowd of bodies she was used to.

One she’d given her statement, Nadine looked toward the car Rex was waiting in, barely making out his face beyond the reflective glare of the lights. Instead, she saw a mirror of what he was seeing- Diplomatic Security plus her friends all at her back. Her memories dimmed a little then, just like his face past the reflection. She wasn’t alone. Hadn’t been alone in a long time.

“Let’s go.” Elizabeth looped her arm around her shoulder. “Hospital and then home.”

“I really am fine.” She insisted again, breaking her gaze from the car.

“No, not tonight.” Jay appeared on her other side. “Hospital, then home.”

She huffed. “It’s a waste of resources.”

“That’s for the doctor to decide.” Matt jumped in, tacking on a ‘ _Ma’am_ ’ when she leveled a half-hearted glare his way.

“You’re not winning tonight, Nadine.” Elizabeth used her arm to start walking them toward the motorcade. “And you aren’t going to be alone.”

“But, Ma’am, your family is at home waiting.”

“Not just her.” Daisy fell into step on her other side as the guys walked behind them. “We’re all coming. So, give Blake your keys and he can move your car.” Her hand was out, fingers wiggling.

It was a no-win situation, so she relented. “You know, I’ve made dozens of trips on my own just fine, I don’t need coddled.”

As Daisy dropped the keys into Blake’s palm when he approached, and he finally spoke up with a frown. “It’s precisely because of those that we’re all staying with you for this one.”

“Exactly.” Elizabeth agreed at her side. “Let’s go.”


	6. Chapter 6

Despite the escort to the SUV, only Elizabeth rode with her and at first Nadine was privately thankful for them being so astute, but then she remembered, she wasn’t the only one who’d driven to the bar. Matt and Jay both had their own respective vehicles to move as well. A faint flicker of amusement then crossed her face, lingering when Elizabeth startled her.

“What?” She wore a fond look at the face Nadine knew she was wearing.

“Imagining Blake trying to get into my car to drive it is all.”

“Ah.” She chuckled and then her face fell. “How long were you married?”

“Only a few years. I had Roman just before I turned twenty and… I left dancing behind and came back to the states. No job, new baby… I was drowning. Roman was only about six months old when I met Rex and I thought at first it was my lucky break. Things devolved rather quickly.”

“And… And he was always so rough?”

She sucked in a breath and held it, eyes drifting to look out the window at the passing world. “We married after less than three months. His true colors came out almost instantly after that.” A hand taking hers made her look back in surprise.

“I’m sorry.”

Nadine chewed her lip a minute. “It’s part of my past. Until he resurfaced again just before the trip, I hadn’t let it get to me in years.”

“Just… Is that what you’ve been so bothered by the past few days?”

“I ran into him Monday night on my way home.” She nodded. “He said some things then that were a bit… threatening.”

“He threatened you? Nadine, why didn’t you say something?”

“Like what? I couldn’t have anticipated I’d run into him again the moment we got back.”

“What if we wouldn’t have been with you? Does he know where you live?” When she didn’t answer, the hand holding hers squeezed. Thankfully, they pulled up at the hospital before Elizabeth could comment further. “Matt, can you please go handle what you need to inside? I’d really be more comfortable if an actual doctor said she hasn’t cracked something.”

“Of course, Ma’am.” He stepped out of the car while they waited. Between Vincent and now Elizabeth, Nadine was well versed in what it took to get the Secretary in anywhere, especially with no notice. By the time he returned, the rest of the staff were waiting on the curb.

“You really don’t all need to be here.” She tried it again as they surrounded her. “You should go home and get some sleep.”

Jay, Daisy, and two of the agents all scoffed at that, making her roll her eyes at their determination.

“Fine.”

A nurse had insisted she ride in a wheelchair to the room, policy he’d said, and Nadine had tried to argue. Her nerves were far too rattled, not that she’d admit to it, to have a strange man leaning over her as he pushed her. It seemed her coworkers read her concern anyway as Blake quietly took over the job, guiding her alongside the nurse to the right room before slipping away, pulling the door shut.

Alone, Nadine gave an abbreviated account of the evening, assuring him that her friends were just being overly cautious. She found herself gritting her teeth as he went about his job checking her vitals and she thought he didn’t notice until he excused himself, returning moments later with Matt.

“Sorry, Daisy is on the phone with a reporter and the Secretary is talking to Doctor McCord.” He apologized for his presence, taking a seat on the far side of the bed.

“The doctor will be in soon.” The nurse shared before slipping out again.

“Why is Daisy on the phone with a reporter?”

He shrugged. “A wannabe journalist that has been trying to get on at The Chronicle was at the bar and taped some of what happened hoping the inside scoop would land them the job they’d been turned down for.”

“Oh.”

“Daisy’s trying to get the video now. She’s in full press coordinator mode so…”

Understanding of what he meant made a smile curve the corners of her mouth. “I see.”

“And the Secretary was talking with her husband about whether it was a good idea for you to be alone tonight.” She shot him a look and he tossed his hands up. “Just sharing! By the look on her face though, he’s pretty angry that it happened as well.”

“Rex is in jail.” She huffed.

“For tonight. And I’m just… I’m just guessing, but I get the feeling that he’s walked through a restraining order before.”

She didn’t answer.

“I know your building is secure and work is… obviously… But if he has an idea of where you live, and it sounds like he does if he’s popped up twice in a week, then he can work out grocery stores, gyms, coffee shops.”

“I know.” She turned her face away from him. “I know.”

“You need protection.”

“Like hell I do.”

His brows shot up, but he didn’t comment on the tone or hostile response. “You are important, Nadine. To the job, sure, but to us, your family. And, as your family, we want you kept safe.”

She was still trying to decide on a response when the door opened again, revealing the nurse, a doctor, and Blake again with the wheelchair. The doctor reviewed her information and looked over the bruises before agreeing that an x-ray wouldn’t hurt matters. She tried to argue Blake’s involvement as they left Matt in the room and headed down the hall.

“I’m an assistant, Nadine, it’s literally in my job title to assist. So, deal with it.”

“You’re not my assistant, though.” She retorted.

“How much do you really want to break in a third Secretary because an agent snapped and offed this one because she refused to stay where he told her?” He rattled off the reply.

It made her chuckle. “Fine. You’re not following me into the room though.” She finished as they stopped at the right door.

The nurse held out a fabric gown. “We’ll need you to step in and undress to the waist and put this on, open in the back.”

She stood, taking it. “Right. Thank you.”

“We’ll give you a minute, open the door again when you’re ready.” He turned away.

Nadine didn’t realize she was still staring at the gown until Blake spoke up again, this time his voice sounded concerned. “Can you do it on your own?”

“Hm?” She blinked up at him.

“Do you need help?”

“No.” She shook her head. “No, I’ve got it.” She closed herself into the room. It was painful to lift her arms, especially when it already hurt to breathe, but she managed before opening the door again. She could do this.

=MS=

_“Can you move onto the table on your own, Sweetie?” The nurse asked her. “We need to see how bad those ribs are this time.”_

_Nadine shivered against the cold of the room, a rock forming in the pit of her stomach at the nurse’s words that told her the older woman knew this wasn’t her first visit._

_“Does it hurt to breathe?”_

_Nadine nodded. “Yes.” Her voice, as always, was barely more than a whisper._

_“Make sure you breathe deep, shallow breaths will lead you right to pneumonia and then where will you and your little boy be?”_

_“I-” She didn’t have an answer but knew the routine._

_Once the x-rays were taken, the nurse came back in. “You have quite the record with us for someone so young. Is it- Is it your husband doing this to you?”_

_She turned her face away, not answering._

_“Is he the father of your little boy?”_

_“No.”_

_When the nurse gently touched her arm, she recoiled. “I’m sorry, Sweetie… I want to help you. These injuries are getting worse. I am really concerned for your safety.”_

_“I’m fine.”_

_“If you report him, he’ll go to jail.”_

_“I’ll still be married to him… He’ll still own me.” Her voice was resigned._

_“You can divorce him.”_

_Her head popped up, fear coursing through her. “I- I have no job, no place to go… I have my son to take care of. I need him!”_

_“We have people who can help with all of that. There are options to go to college, get a job that you can support yourself with.”_

=MS=

As she settled back into the wheelchair, she couldn’t help noticing the frown on Blake’s face. “What is it?”

“Daisy forwarded me the video.”

She twisted to look up at him as he leaned against the handles. “How bad?”

“I- I’m surprised you aren’t more hurt, actually. The angle makes you being dragged to the ground look absolutely brutal.”

“Show me?’

“The Secretary said not to.”

“Blake…”

“I’m not so sure it’s a good idea either.” He admitted.

“If it’s going to be on the news…” She tried.

“If Daisy has anything to do with it, it won’t be.” He didn’t carry on until they were back in the room and he turned to Matt. “Would you find something for her to eat?” Blake asked him, using Matt’s desire to help to their advantage. Once they were alone and she was back on the bed, he passed his phone over. “I want it on record that you shouldn’t look.”

“Noted.” She pressed play on the video. The clip seemed to have started by accident, at first it was focused on the person the journalist was seated across from as they rambled on about a birthday. In the background of the shot, though, she could see as Rex boxed her in, looking down at her as he spoke. The audio didn’t pick up what he was saying, but her mind filled in the words as he grabbed first one arm and then the other. Her breath caught at the memory of the terror that had flooded her.

It filled in what happened next for her as Jay, Matt, and Blake suddenly rushed into view, all grabbing for Rex, yanking him away. The momentum sent her to the ground and out of view.

“We’re all very sorry about that.” Blake whispered.

On the screen, the Secretary’s detail were getting involved and she watched as Matt lifted from the floor as if she weighed nothing, ushering her off screen as the others continued wrestling with Rex to get him to leave in the opposite direction.

It looked rough, aggressive, and she knew much of that was from how much Rex resisted. When the clip ended, she pressed play again, studying it even closer. When she pressed play a third time, Blake tugged the phone away.

“That’s enough.”

“I need to know-”

“You’re dwelling and hyper focusing. It’s bad for you and I’m not about to allow it.”


	7. Chapter 7

Locking the door behind her, Nadine stood in the middle of her condo and stared into space. The hospital had taken four hours which, from experience, wasn’t all that long. Once the doctor had declared her bruised, by otherwise fine, she had finally convinced Jay, Daisy, and Matt to go home. She’d tried to dissuade Elizabeth and Blake from hanging around as well, but they’d been insistent. In the end, she’d conceded to Elizabeth giving her a ride home, Blake again moving her car. He’d offered twice to stay the night on her couch, but Nadine had pointed out that she was safe here.

Safe, sure… but alone.

Sinking onto the couch, she allowed her mind to wander back to the day she’d moved into a tiny studio apartment with Roman, still healing from the last night with Rex. It’d been winter, the thin, single-pane windows had done little to keep the cold and damp out, but somehow, with their belongings so sparse they barely filled the cabinets or closets, it had been the most secure she’d felt in years.

She’d had to walk to the bus stop to get to a new job that an organization had helped her find. It’d been something that hadn’t interested her at the time, but within a year had changed her career trajectory from heartbroken former dancer to future lawyer. She’d moved quickly from private sector, to nonprofit, to government work, finding confidence with each small success. With every step, she swore to herself she’d never forget that tiny studio with peeling counters and windowsills, but she always focused on achieving living comfortably.

This condo was home, the place she felt most happy and comfortable. She’d never shared it with anyone else, it was hers. Normally, that thrilled her. Her job forced her to work with and around other people constantly and this small slice of solitude was her reprieve.

Tonight, however, she missed having someone else around.

=MS=

_“Mommy!” Roman screeched, racing through the tiny apartment as fast as his preschooler legs would carry him. “Mommy! Mommy!”_

_“Sweetie, shh.” She held a hand to her head, willing her son to settle down. “How about you read Mommy a story?” She was curled on the tiny loveseat, the biggest thing that would fit in the living space. Her son kept running wild, though, not hearing, or caring. She felt like death warmed over and all she wanted was for bedtime to arrive so she could suffer in peace._

_“Mommy, play!” He rushed the side of the loveseat, tossing a toy truck she barely avoided hitting her in the face._

_Her head swam, stomach lurching at the sudden movement. “Baby, please come up here with Mommy.” She hauled his squirming body onto her lap, straddling her stomach as she was partially reclined, praying he wouldn’t catch whatever she had. She was barely holding it together as it was._

_“Mommy!” He whined, fighting against her grasp. “Mommy down!” His face contorted ahead of a wail. He grabbed for the truck again, pulling back to throw it before pausing._

_“Roman?” She took the opportunity to reach for the truck just as he made an odd noise and then threw up all over her shirt. Squeezing her eyes closed, she felt as she began to lose the battle with her own body._

=MS=

Living in that tiny apartment, she’d longed for the day she could live alone. She and Roman had taken turns being sick for over a week then and she’d cried alone, wishing she had someone who could just be there, so she wasn’t so alone.

Reaching for her phone, Nadine realized that while being alone hadn’t been a choice, or much of one, back then, it was a choice now. She could choose to suffer through the memories alone or have someone around to just be there.


	8. Chapter 8

There was a soft knock on her bedroom door the next morning followed by Daisy softly calling her name.

“Yes.” Nadine called her in. She was dressed and just finishing brushing out her hair. “Good morning. And… thank you. I guess last night got to me more than I’d thought.” It had been Daisy she’d called, hesitantly asking if she wouldn’t mind coming by after all. She watched Daisy frown. “What’s up?”

“So… There was a text chain all night.” She put her hands up defensively. “We were all just worried about you. But… the others know you asked me to come stay and they’re kind of all on their way over with breakfast.” Daisy was twisting her hands together now.

“I’m not really in the mood for entertaining.”

“We know. We just… want to look after you.”

She did know. She was equally as guilty of giving in to the impulse to close ranks when one of them was in distress. She sighed. “Okay. I suppose I understand that.” She looked up in time to see Daisy glance at the closed bedroom door. “What else?”

“The, um, the Secretary is here already… With her family. I didn’t want you to be taken by surprise when you stepped out of your bedroom.”

“Thank you for that.” There was no way she could hide away all day, might as well face them and get it over with. “Shall we?”

Daisy led the way back to the living room where Nadine found the McCord girls curled into chairs by the window.

“Hello.”

The pair looked up and then stood, crossing to her. “Are you okay?” Stevie asked. Nadine couldn’t help but notice how similar her appraising gaze was to her mother’s.

“I’ll be fine.” She turned away from them, locating her boss at the table and then the McCord men in her kitchen. “Good morning, Henry. Ma’am.”

All three greeted her warmly and then Henry walked to her, carefully shifting the edge of her sleeve to see the bruises on her arms. “I’m sorry we just turned up with no notice, that was Elizabeth’s idea. She said you couldn’t say no that way. Do they hurt?”

“Not too bad.” It definitely wasn’t the worst Rex had ever done to her. “Past experience tells me it might hurt to lift things for a week or so, just until the bruising has started to heal.”

“She showed me the video. If you need anything at all, just speak up. We’ll get whatever you need.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“It is. Sadly, he’s not likely to spend much time in jail and you shouldn’t have to live in fear of him coming back to finish the job. I’m sure Elizabeth can make a case for protection for a while, maybe long enough to discourage him from trying anything.”

She was already shaking her head. “I don’t need that.”

“Nadine.” It was Elizabeth who spoke up then, admonishment in her voice.

“I appreciate this, I really do. But Rex is a part of my past from a long time ago. I refuse to allow him to disrupt my present.”

“He didn’t look very past last night.” Elizabeth commented.

Nadine was about to retort, but a knock on the door cut her off. Daisy was already moving to answer it.

“That’s the others.” She let them in, each laden with bags and all three chattering about some conversation they’d been having on the ride over.

It was overwhelming until Nadine remembered how empty and silent the place had felt only hours before. Now it felt… comfortable. This was her family, pieced together as they were. She did a full circle where she stood. Jay had joined Henry back at the stove, a discussion underway between them about cooking something or other. Across the island, Blake and Jason were laying out the choices that didn’t need cooked from the bags that had been brought in, laughing at a joke and then laughing again when Jason threw a blueberry in response and Blake managed to catch it in his mouth before tossing his arms up in triumph. Stevie and Matt were at the table with Elizabeth and Daisy, heads bent over tablets and phones.

She turned again. On her own in the living room sat Alison, a sketch pad in her lap. It was the quieter end of the open room, so Nadine headed that way, curling on the couch facing her. This was her present. This was the world she chose to live in, not Rex. Not the memory of him. He’d taken enough of her life, of her week. She refused to give him any more.

Looking toward Alison, she asked curiously. “What are you sketching today?”


End file.
